


The Peralta Predicament

by secretsofluftnarp (luftie)



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Butts, Embarrassment Kink, Fluff and Crack, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Porn with Feelings, Relationship Negotiation, Roleplay, smut with a smut plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-16 20:11:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13061301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luftie/pseuds/secretsofluftnarp
Summary: Jake and Holt sleep together while they're in witness protection in Florida. Amy is into it. Kevin is intimidating. Smut for smut's sake, but with a heart.





	1. Coral Palms

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Holt/Jake: sexual comfort-seeking  
> 2\. Jake/Amy: sweetness. roleplay.  
> 3\. Kevin/Jake: consensual embarrassment kink  
> 4\. Holt/Kevin: the marrieds talk it over  
> 5\. NBD

Jake knew how to hop a fence. He knew how to do a lot of things, including being an awesome detective, and a surprisingly thoughtful boyfriend. He hadn't been able to do either of those things for about five months, because he was in witness protection, in the weird, sweaty, probably-cursed tropical hellscape known as South Florida. Which was probably why, when he had accidentally chucked his frisbee into Holt's -- Greg's! -- yard, he genuinely felt like he was going to cry. That frisbee was a glimmer of hope, and it was floating away from him.

But Jake knew how to hop a fence.

It was a high, wooden picket fence, pointed at the top, but he could deal with that, right? He just needed a good running start, to vault himself over. Jake reared back, took one running leap, and miscalculated, smashing into the fence and falling backward. He shook it off -- whatever, fence! Here was a chance to be an action hero again, and he was going to give that frisbee the rescuing it deserved.  
  
Jake ran, jumped, grabbed the top of the fence (ow ow ow ow _ow_ ), kicked his legs over ( _noice_ ), and crash landed in the dirt.  
  
"OW!" Jake said, a little too loudly, sounding not at all like an action hero.  
  
Holt came bounding out of the house at the sound. He motioned for Jake to be quiet and stay still, scanning his surroundings for any cause for alarm. Finding none, he crouched down next to Jake. "Are you in danger?"  
  
"No," Jake mumbled miserably, into the dirt. "I lost my frisbee in your yard."  
  
Holt seemed very subtly disappointed. Maybe he had been hoping for a high-stakes chase.

"I am not concerned about your flying disc," Holt said, helping Jake up. "Are you hurt?"  
  
Jake flexed some limbs to make sure they still worked. "Looks like I just scraped my knee," he said. He gave a lopsided smile. "You want to kiss it and make it better?"

Jake was just trying to lighten the mood, but the way Holt's eyes caught his for a moment, with Holt's warm hand still on his back, Jake wasn't sure what was happening.  
  
"We had best get you inside," Holt said. "You look terrible."

"You don't look so hot yourself," Jake blurted, and then backtracked. "Actually, that's a complete lie. You look great. Is that t-shirt just really flattering? Maybe all that power-walking is really working for you. I'm babbling, huh? I'm babbling."

Jake appreciated how Holt's arm stayed on his back as he rushed him inside. A pair of binoculars on a table on Holt's screened-in porch caught his eye. "Greg! Have you been spying on the neighbors?"

"I have been birdwatching," Holt admitted. "I know Greg would never engage in such activities, but I've decided to risk it. One has to have some excitement. I was hot on the trail of a sandhill crane."

"Awww yeah. Get your bird on," Jake joked. "Who needs catching bad guys or making a difference in the world when you've got...nature."

Holt, with a hand still on Jake's shoulder, pushed him gently so he sat down at Holt's kitchen table. "You sound depressed," Holt said, leaning down to inspect Jake's knee.  
  
"Uh," Jake said. "Yeah, probably. Can't get up in the morning, can't...do stuff. Been spending more time lately crying in the hot tub."  
  
"I noticed," Holt said.  
  
Jake's face brightened. "So you've been watching me in the hot tub," he teased.  
  
"It was incidental," Holt said, too quickly. He straightened up and regarded Jake's appearance. "When was the last time you showered?"  
  
"Do hot tubs count as baths?"  
  
"They do not."  
  
"Then I can't remember."

"That would explain why you look _and_ smell terrible. The shower is through the door in the master bedroom. You should take advantage of it."  
  
"Is that an order, Captain?" Jake joked.  
  
"You know it isn't."  
  
"Yeah, I do," Jake admitted. "I just miss having that. And I'm being weird about it! Anyway, gonna go get naked in your house for my own well-being!"  
  
When Jake hadn't come out of the shower 40 minutes later, Holt got up and knocked on the door. "Peralta? Do you need help?"  
  
"No," Jake said, in a voice that had clearly been crying.  
  
Holt raised both eyebrows. "Are you lying?"  
  
"Yes," Jake hiccuped.  
  
"May I come in?"  
  
Holt heard a muffled affirmative and opened the door. Jake was slumped against the far wall of the shower, with the water running. "I need so much help," Jake said, quietly, his face smushed into the wall.

"Stand up," Holt said.  
  
"Bwahhhhhh," Jake responded, and did not stand up.  
  
Holt peeled off his own shirt and pants without a thought, as if he were about to dive in a pool to save someone from drowning, and stepped into the shower. He wrapped one arm around Jake's body and attempted to pull him away from the wall, to stand him up on his own. Jake nearly slipped forward, and Holt had to hold Jake up with his other arm to steady him.  
  
"That's nice," Jake whispered, looking at the floor of the shower, with Holt's arm wrapped around him.  
  
"I have read," Holt started, as though Jake's nudity and body-proximity was a very normal circumstance, "that touch is a powerful tool in healing. It was on www dot psychologytoday dot com backslash articles backslash 201303 backslash the hyphen power hyphen touch question mark 80962. Do you know that site?"  
  
"Did you just do that off the top of your head?" Jake said, incredulously, momentarily breaking out of his gloom. "I mean, you can keep your hands on me, yeah."

Holt pressed one hand to Jake's chest and another to his upper arm, in a gentle yet firm embrace. "Do you continue to require assistance?"  
  
Jake nodded. Holt's hands massaged shampoo into his hair, and Jake closed his eyes and leaned into it, lips almost brushing Holt's wrists. Holt pressed Jake's cheek, adjusting his head and shoulders upright, leading him into the water to rinse.  
  
"Open your eyes," Holt said, showing Jake how to properly lather a bath sponge with soap that smelled faintly of Holt. Jake, covered in bubbles, batted some in Holt's direction.  
  
"That was unnecessary," Holt said, blowing soap suds off his nose. "I am merely trying to help you."

"Obviously," Jake said, stepping back into the spray of water to rinse off the soap. He faced Holt and glancing downward, drawing attention to how Holt's now-very-wet boxer briefs clung to his body. Jake half-smiled, biting his lip, and draped his arms around Holt's neck.  
  
"What are you doing?" Holt said.  
  
"Hiding my boner with your boner," Jake said, pressing his thighs to Holt's thighs, and his lips to Holt's lips.  
  
"This is foolish," Holt mumbled, between kisses. He put a hand to Jake's back, holding him close.

"Yeah," Jake muttered back, between being kissed. "Super dumb. But super good, right?"  
  
Holt kissed Jake's neck and reached down to turn off the water with one hand, without breaking contact. He reached for a large, fluffy towel and started drying Jake's hair, then his back, as Jake started rutting up against him.  
  
"Slow down," Holt said firmly, catching Jake at the hips. "You have no technique."  
  
"Um? Do too?" Jake said. He knelt, peeled off Holt's wet shorts, and took him in his mouth in an attempt to prove it.  
  
Jake took too much too fast, and coughed into the drain. Holt reached a hand down to Jake, to help him up. "I'm fine," Jake insisted. "Let me try again."

Jake pressed Holt against the wall of the shower and took his cock in his mouth again, slower this time, remembering to breathe. He looked up, adoringly, at Holt, who put a reassuring hand to the back of Jake's head. Holt put a little bit of pressure on Jake, waiting for his response. Jake nodded quickly, mouth still occupied -- _yes, please_ \-- furrowed his brow, and let out a little moan. Holt pushed into Jake's mouth in short, rhythmic thrusts, the gentlest of face-fuckings. Jake moaned a little louder with each thrust.  
  
Holt tightened his hand in Jake's hair and pulled him off. Jake let out a small, disappointed whine. Holt pulled him to standing, as if to say, _not here_ , and stepped out of the shower with Jake in his arms. He took a fresh towel and dried Jake off more thoroughly. Jake snatched the towel back, rubbing it on Holt, kissing him on the cheek, then snapped it at his bum, laughing, and darted into the bedroom.  
  
" _Punk,_ " Holt enunciated sharply, and chased after him.

"I don't know what you think you're doing," Holt said, pinning Jake to the bed.

"Um, being the cutest." Jake looked ecstatic, then worried. "You do think I'm cute, right?"

Holt looked amused, and resigned. It was too late to pretend otherwise. "I do."  
  
"Good, because, I don't know if you know this, but I think I have kind of a crush on you."

Holt hid a smile, but its warmth came through. Ever used to playing the gentleman, Holt picked up one of Jake's hands and kissed it. Jake grinned, suddenly shy again. Holt pinned his wrists back to the bed.

"Heyyyy," Jake said, in a voice that was not actually a protest. Holt cut him off with a kiss, more forceful than before, leaving Jake to catch his breath as Holt kissed his neck.

"Allow me to show you something," Holt said, kissing a trail down Jake's stomach. He paused at Jake's erection, making sure Jake was paying attention, before putting it in his mouth.d

"Oh wow," Jake gasped, as Holt did something with his tongue that Jake couldn't recognize. "What is that?"  
  
Holt shrugged without letting up. _Experience_.

Jake, flushed, let out big, ragged breaths. Holt was playing with him, keeping him on edge by not letting him get into a comfortable rhythm. The sensation was too intense, and Jake had nowhere to go. He grabbed a pillow, mashed it up against his face, and screamed into it.  
  
Holt, noticing this, let go of Jake's cock. Shaking his head, he got up and knocked the pillow off Jake's face. Jake brought his knees up slightly, protecting his body, even though that didn't quite make sense.  
  
"Hi," Jake said, still breathing roughly. "That was a lot."

"Too much?" Holt said, in what could have been a tease. He placed one hand on the back of Jake's upper thigh, rubbing softly.

"No, no, a really good amount," Jake said. He noticed Holt's hand wandering toward his ass. "So are we gonna -- y'know --"  
  
"I _don't_ know," Holt lied. "Would you like me to penetrate you?"  
  
"God, yes," Jake said, relaxing his whole body again. Then he said something he didn't expect to say.

"Oh man," Jake said. "We can just pretend I didn't say that."

Holt smiled for real this time, kindly. “Every man I've been intimate with has called me ‘Daddy’ at one time or another."  
  
Jake blinked several times, because his brain was short-circuiting. "Oh, wow. I do not know what to do with that information."  
  
"Then I suggest you let it be," Holt said. He took out a condom and a bottle of lubricant from the bedside drawer. "This can focus on your needs."

Holt guided Jake's legs back up, rubbing the backs of his thighs. Jake relaxed into the mattress. Holt explored the outside of Jake's ass with his fingers, then his tongue. The sensation of Holt's tongue on him had Jake grabbing for the pillow again, smothering his face, letting out a lower, longer cry than before. Holt lifted the pillow more carefully this time, tossing it further aside, gazing into Jake's face as he pushed two fingers inside of him.  
  
Jake closed his eyes and moaned, squirming against the bed, very into it. He felt exposed, and controlled, which was embarrassing, which turned him on more. When Jake was ready, Holt drew out his fingers. He watched Jake's expression carefully as he entered him. Jake's eyes searched his, full of admiration.  
  
"You feel nice," Jake said, out of breath.  
  
"Likewise," Holt said, mildly smug.  
  
Jake's mouth fell open, breathing hard as Holt thrust into him. He made sounds he couldn't control, which was embarrassing, which worked for him.  
  
"This is nice," Jake said, as his body relaxed. "Just sweet, gentle, intimate fucking."  
  
Holt drew back, raising both eyebrows. "That is not, in fact, all there is."  
  
Jake breathed in sharply, and gave many quick, successive nods. _Yesyesyesyesyes_.

Holt flipped him over. Jake, on his hands and knees, wondered for a split second how he could possibly have gotten here, until Holt's hands on his hips reminded him. "Where your hands are? I love that," Jake babbled.  
  
Holt struck him, hard, on the rear.  
  
"And I love _that,_ " Jake said, catching his breath.  
  
Holt pushed his cock into him, pressing somewhere deep. "And I didn't know I loved that, but I definitely do."  
  
What followed fucked the words out of him. Holt pulling his hips, Holt's thighs pressing to his, Holt rhythmically slapping him. Holt curled one hand around Jake's cock, loosely at first, then tighter as Holt's thrusts became faster, until Jake came too hard, too much, all over the tasteful beige blanket.  
  
Jake felt Holt's cock pulse and then go soft inside of him. Holt's hands guided him toward the bed, as Holt discreetly cleaned up.  
  
Jake's face burned, in that bad-but-good way. "Sorry I came all over everything."  
  
"Don't worry about that."

Back in the corner of his detective-brain, where the wheels never really stopped spinning, Jake noticed how Holt balled up the thin beige blanket and left it near the hamper. Not unusual for a normal person, but too careless for Holt. Holt must also be…sad, or worried, or missing home.

Holt lay behind him, on tasteful beige sheets. _Everyone likes being the little spoon_ , Jake was fond of saying. _It makes you feel safe_. But Holt seemed to like holding Jake to him, keeping him safe. Jake drifted off to sleep, briefly, in his arms.

"Gotta say, my butt feels awesome," Jake said, stretching when he came to. "I kinda expected it to hurt a little? But I just feel really relaxed and limber. This clearly isn't your first time at the butt rodeo."  
  
"No," Holt deadpanned. "It is not."  
  
Jake sprawled on the bed. "What are we gonna do, Cap? This doesn't blow our cover, does it?"  
  
"It suggests we have some sort of relationship, when our alter egos Greg and Larry do not," Holt said. "We should throw potential observers off the trail. I will endeavor to emphasize Greg's heterosexuality to the residents I am in contact with here."  
  
"Good luck with that. I'm just going to act like we don't know each other. At all."  
  
Holt was quiet. Quiet enough that Jake heard a bird chirping outside, and a lawnmower, and...that was it. No city, no traffic sounds, no random pedestrians, no Amy klutzing around in the kitchen or the bathroom. Jake was somehow both euphoric, and sadder than he'd ever been.  
  
"This was amazing," Jake said. "But I want to go home. Like, all the way home. New York home."  
  
"I do as well," Holt said. He took Jake's hand. "Thank you for keeping me company."  
  
  
  
Weeks later, Jake and Holt sat in a darkened movie theater, pretending not to know each other. Jake had started working the Figgis case, and then Holt had gotten on his case about it, and then Holt had gotten into solving the case with him. Which was the second thing they weren't supposed to be doing.  
  
"What's going on?" Jake whispered, pretending to stare at the screen. "Any idea why Marshal Haas called this special meeting?"  
  
"I don't know, do you think she saw the video we put on the internet to lure Jimmy Figgis down here? Corn Dog pewwwned by Go Kart?"  
  
"It's pwned, but that was really adorable," Jake said, wondering if it was too much to call Holt 'adorable' now that they had actually had sex. "Do you think she knows about the other stuff? The boning?"

"No," Holt said, much too calmly. "I do not presume that she would know about that. Here she comes."

Marshal Haas took a seat behind 'Greg' and 'Larry.' "Gentlemen? How's it going?"  
  
"It's good. It's really good," Jake said, hoping his voice wouldn't crack from stress. "Uh, keeping a low profile. No one's questioned our identities, definitely staying off the net, no contact with Brooklyn, definitely no… inappropriate contact of any kind. Right Greg?"  
  
Holt stared straight ahead, as calm as ever. "Right."  
  
"That's it?" Marshal Haas said, annoyed. "That's all you have to say to me? So nobody's going to ask me how I'm doing?"  
  
Jake let out a breath. Okay. Marshal Haas had her own thing. That was fine.  
  
Holt turned around. "Oh, I didn't think this was a personal conversation."  
  
"It's not," Marshal Haas snapped. "Turn back around and watch the movie. I was just testing you, because Greg is the kind of person who cares about his friends and can sense when something is off with them."  
  
Holt was doing a masterful job of reacting with the appropriate level of genuine concern. "Is something off with you, Marshal Haas?"  
  
"I don't know. I mean, I met someone, okay, and, um I mean, it's not my husband, I mean, nothing's happened yet, but… my entire body is on fire. He's Cuban."  
  
Jake tensed up at the phrase _it's not my husband_ , which was a series of words he didn't feel great about.  
  
"Pop quiz," Marshal Haas said. "If Larry were married and everything was fine, and I mean, honestly, everything is totally fine… but he knew that one night with this person could give him everything he needed for the rest of his life. Would he do it?"  
  
Jake froze. Was this a trick? This definitely sounded like a trick.  
  
"Yes?" Jake blurted. Was that a Larry answer? Jake didn't know. It was a Jake answer.  
  
"Yes? Good," Marshal Haas said.  
  
"You know, it seems to me, Larry has needs," Holt said, in a voice Jake found impossible to ignore. "And deserves to have those needs…met."

Jake tried not to blush. Marshal Haas couldn't possibly hear him blush, could she? Jake tried not to meet Holt's eyes, but accidentally did anyway.  
  
"Greg, you're really great at being undercover. You both passed the test," Marshal Haas said, summoning her boytoy from the back of the theater and leaving Holt and Jake alone again.    
  
"Do you really feel that way?" Jake said.  
  
"We told Marshal Haas what she wanted to hear," Holt said.  
  
"I mean. About us," Jake said.  
  
"It seems as though you are more concerned about our sexual dalliance than you are about Jimmy Figgis," Holt said.  
  
"Uh, maybe I am," Jake said. "What happens if we get back to civilization?"  
  
"Then we confess to our respective significant others and get on with our respective lives."  
  
"Damn your steadfast moral center!" Jake whispered. "Your gooey, delicious moral center."


	2. Amy

Amy stared at the ceiling. "I mean, honestly? Given the option, I probably would have done the same thing."  
  
Jake lay in bed next to Amy, and stared at the ceiling too. "Really?"  
  
"Yeah, I mean, if I were in a situation with someone who you admire as much as Holt, and we also had the potential to be really attracted to each other, and were isolated and lonely...yeah, absolutely."

"You are taking this scarily well," Jake said.  
  
"Also I threw a whole cup of pens off the balcony today at work," Amy said.  
  
"Aha! So that's why Gina came in saying she had bravely fought off a plague of office supplies," Jake said. He gazed at her, adoring, hoping she could feel it. "You know I never stopped loving you."

"I know!" Amy said. "I have so many feelings right now. And so many of them are good! I'm so glad to have you back. And I was lonely too, I mean, with both you and Holt gone, I was missing both my cuddly sexy boyfriend and the authority figure I looked to most for validation --"  
  
Jake gasped softly. This sounded like a confession. He fought back a smile. "Babe? What did you do?"  
  
Amy bit her lip. "Rosa and I hooked up," she said. "She wore a captain's hat and everything. Really killed two birds with one stone."  
  
Jake grinned. "Aww, babe."  
  
"She was so good at being commanding while also being super sexual? And it's like -- your thing. I don't regret it. Here's this super hot thing that helped me get through a tough time. And I couldn't even contact you to see if it was okay."  
  
"It is -- wow. It is way more than okay." He kissed Amy on the neck, and she snuggled into him.  
  
"Want to give me the play-by-play?" Amy said, dipping into her sexy voice. "Tell me exactly what happened?"  

"Yes," Jake said, helplessly. "It's not like it could possibly get any weirder."

And he did tell her everything, watching her eyes light up as she was captivated, scandalized, doing that thing where she bit her lip because she was deeply turned on. Amy started grinding on him before he finished the story, and Jake didn't think she knew she was doing it.

"Do the voice," Amy said, breathy but demanding.  
  
"My pleasure, Santiago," Jake said, in his faux-Holt voice.

"No," she said. "you be him. I'll be you."  
  
Jake would have laughed out loud, but he was too caught up in the rhythm of her hips, the warmth of her breaths. "Love you," Jake breathed.

"And whoever comes first loses," Amy said.  
  
"Deal," Jake said, through his teeth, fighting back the immediate jolt of arousal the competition gave him. Evil Ames, sweet Ames, all rolled into one.

Jake summoned his Holt voice. "I find your body sufficiently arousing," he said, faux-deeply. 

"Well," Amy said, tossing her head and mimicking Jake's shy smile, "Y'know. I'm a hot little piece."  
  
"I am well-practiced at oral sex," Jake continued. “Allow me to demonstrate.”  
  
Jake pushed Amy onto her back and wriggled her out of her remaining clothes. He drew his mouth down her body, warm, incredible, familiar, tongue adoring her clit and the spot near her clit, pressing into her wetness until she shouted to let go.

"Sir," Amy said, catching her breath, "I would be _honored_ if you fucked me."  
  
Jake's eyes went wide and he nodded. _This is super weird and I'm definitely doing it_.  
  
For a second, Jake wondered if he should flip her over, like Holt had done to him, but Amy was already on top of him. And that was Jake's favorite place in the entire world, when he was inside her with Amy on him, feeling every tremble of her hips. She was clearly driving, intent on her own pleasure. Jake loved her so much in that moment, and he knew what he could do.  
  
Jake got as close as he could to her ear. "Detective," he said, in Holt-voice, "you are my favorite."  
  
Amy came, hard, eyes squeezed shut, mouth contorted wide. Jake held her close as she gasped for air, bucking up against him.  
  
Jake, feeling Amy tighten around him, lasted only a moment longer, but enough to count. He kissed her cheeks, her lips, her forehead, until they could both breathe normally again. Amy slid off him and lay next to him, comfortable and content.  
  
"You lost," Jake said, in his normal voice.  
  
"Pshhhhhh," Amy laughed, pushing him away playfully, and immediately drawing him back.  
  
"It's cool. I love you anyway," Jake teased.

Amy's face grew serious again. "He didn't actually say you were his favorite, did he?"  
  
"Babe," Jake laughed, then realized Amy meant it. "No, seriously, I made that up for you. You're one hundred percent my fave."  
  
"Awww. You're one hundred percent _my_ fave."  
  
Then Amy asked a question that made Jake's blood run cold again.  
  
"What about Kevin?"

 


	3. Kevin

"We have proposed an arrangement," Holt told Jake. "You are to come to our home, and you do what Kevin tells you to do. He says then we will be on… equitable footing."  
  
"What's he gonna tell me to do?" Jake said, his eyes darting, trying to read the Captain's expression. "Is this punishment? Is it _sexy_ punishment? Am I way off base here?"  
  
"You should follow up with Kevin regarding his expectations," Holt said. "And then schedule a time that works for you both."

Jake pulled Amy into the evidence locker on their lunch break. "So, I don't know what's happening," he told her. "But if Kevin straight-up murders me, avenge my death, babe?"  
  
"Maybe he just wants to give you a really stern talking-to," Amy said hopefully.  
  
"Ames!" Jake hissed. "That's _worse_!"

Over the phone, Kevin did not sound murderous. His voice preternaturally calm, he asked Jake a short series of questions, and then outlined a scenario which gave Jake what he could only describe as a _terror boner_. Jake was glad he had ducked into the men's room before answering his cell.  
  
" _Ergo_ , this sounds like the best way to do it," Kevin explained over the phone.  
  
"Haha, yeah," Jake said. " _Ergo_."  
  
"To be clear," Kevin said. "You can opt out. This is not your superior officer's request. It is mine."  
  
"No, I'm in," Jake said, cursing himself for answering, but knowing he was hooked.  
  
"Tell me how you're feeling," Kevin said.  
  
"Horny. Terrified. Horny-terrified."  
  
"Good," said Kevin, and hung up.

 

"Raymond isn't allowed to speak until I tell him to," Kevin explained from his seat on the couch of his study. Raymond, seated next to him, hands clasped, looked at the floor, then at Peralta, and then at the floor again. Jake, as instructed, stood in the middle of the room in front of them. There was no way to make his position less awkward, and Jake figured that was on purpose.

“So do I, uh, just leave my clothes in the corner or --” Jake still had a chuckle in his voice, like if he laughed it off this could still just be a very weird joke.  
  
Kevin, severe and still, was very much not joking. “Yes. All of them. Behind the chair. I don’t want to look at the holes in your cartoon-character undergarments.”

“Hey. I have grownup undershorts. I’m just, uh, not wearing them today.”  
  
Jake took a deep breath and started unbuttoning. This part was easier than he thought it would be. Probably because, despite his better judgment, his dick wanted to know what would happen if he did.

Jake stepped back to stand in front of them. Kevin, expression unmoving, twirled a finger, instructing Jake to turn around in a circle. Jake obliged; Kevin did not look impressed.

“Hands behind your back, Peralta.”  
  
“Obviously,” Jake said. He was blushing like crazy, but that was normal, right? His dick was also blushing like crazy, which was less normal -- at least, he wasn't usually this aware of it.  
  
Kevin had also noticed, and was giving a very particular disappointed look, eyebrows creased upward in concern, at Jake's erection. “That’s it?”  
  
"Um, _ouch_ ," Jake said. "Also, _wow_ does that do it for me."  
  
"You're leaking," Kevin said miserably, observing a tiny drop of liquid at the tip of Jake's cock. “Get a condom from the side drawer. You are by no means allowed to drip on the upholstery."

“Condoms in the side drawer,” Jake said, nervous-laughing again. "You bone here often?"

“No. This is a _scene_ , Peralta. I put them there ahead of time. I was anticipating you would make a mess.”

God, Jake thought. It was as if Kevin could see right through him. Kevin wasn't going to say it, but Jake felt it just the same. _See what your dumb boner got us into. Now we have to_ deal _with it._ Jake rolled the condom over his stupid, aching cock, painfully hard at this point, and awaited further instruction.

"Might as well see what all the fuss is about," Kevin sighed, rising from his seat. "Bend over, with your hands on the armchair."

Jake put his hands on the arm of the chair. His head hung down, unable to rest on anything in this position, his body and cock unable to rest on anything either. He was aware of Kevin behind him, probably looking just as skeptical and disappointed at his butt.  
  
"Does this work? Uh...sir?"  
  
"It's _Doctor_ ," Kevin said, snapping on a disposable glove.

Kevin put his hands on him, but his touch was not affectionate or reassuring. He was merely _feeling out_ Jake's ass, squeezing here, pinching there, telling Jake firmly to _hold still_ if he squeaked or jumped. "I see," Kevin muttered, pressing a thumb to Jake's hole as Jake stifled a whine.

"Breathe," Kevin instructed, and Jake remembered that he could. As soon as Jake got comfortable, Kevin pushed two heavily lubricated fingers into him.  
  
If Jake had been able to pay attention, he might have noticed that Holt's eyes were fixed on Kevin, on the way Kevin's eyes narrowed as he worked on Jake. He might have noticed that Holt's breathing had hitched as Kevin entered Jake, noticing a cool, subtle satisfaction in his expression. But Jake didn't notice anything, because the sensation of Kevin inside of him was _very_ distracting.

Kevin was fucking him -- it was a 'look, I'm only going to give this as much effort as I have to,' finger-fucking but it was fucking, Kevin's thrusting fingers controlling his physical response. Kevin pressed deeper into him, looking for the most sensitive spot, and found it, crooking his fingers. Jake moaned, loud and low, and then remembered where he was, and got even more embarrassed about the noises, which made it worse. Jake's dick, straining against nothing, wanted attention very badly, but Jake couldn't do anything about it, and Kevin wasn't going to.

Kevin gave him a few more hard, deep thrusts, and then pulled out abruptly. "I find that satisfactory."  
  
"Dh-huh-huh-huh," Jake gibbered, at a loss for words.

Jake wanted someone, anyone, to big-spoon him, but all there was was the absence of Kevin's hand and vaguely disapproving voice. He felt used, but he was pretty sure that was the point.  
  
"Stand up and face the couch again." Kevin said, returning to his seat. Jake's detective-brain noticed that he crossed his legs this time. "You may bring yourself to completion in front of us."  
  
Jake froze.  
  
"We don't have all day," Kevin said. "You do know how to do that, don't you?"

This was, Jake thought, the craziest possible thing, especially now that Holt was his boss again --  
  
Jake noticed Holt wasn't looking at him. Holt was looking at Kevin, while trying not to let Kevin see him doing it. And that, oh boy, everything turned Jake on but knowing that he didn't even count, that he was just some plaything for the two of them, that was impossibly hot, Jake could definitely do this.  
  
Almost.  
  
Jake squeezed his eyes shut as he stroked himself, force of habit, too embarrassing. He could do it with Amy, but she always had a warm hand on his body, a reassuring voice in his ear. He wanted physical contact so badly that he doubled over, hugged his own body close. In what seemed like the far-away distance, Jake heard Holt sneeze, just before Jake crumpled to the floor, a naked, sprawling, ejaculating mess.  
  
Silence, for several moments, and then Kevin's voice: "Are you finished?"  
  
"Yeah," Jake said, opening his eyes. "Normally I'd want to snuggle, but that is totally not the vibe here, huh."

"Well put. Take your clothes and get dressed in the bathroom. Put the condom in the trash. You may clean yourself with one of the guest towels. Leave it in the hamper, then let yourself out."  
  
"And you guys are…good?" Jake said, as he shakily got to his feet. He tried to smile. "All done with me? Services rendered?"  
  
Holt's face was the blankest of blanks. Kevin, breaking character for one split second, gave him a quick, reassuring nod before continuing.  
  
"Raymond is going to blow me, as per our arrangement. You are not allowed to watch."

Jake, looking pained, nodded and left the room.

Jake buttoned up in the bathroom. He felt great, but also…something else, from long ago. It reminded him almost exactly of that time in high school he had pretended to be a smoker, and a cool older girl had bet him he couldn't finish the whole pack. He had to go through with it, obviously, choke his dumb decision all the way down with tears in his eyes. It had been thrilling, naughty, excessive, slightly shameful, and, physically, not a great idea. Jake had never touched a cigarette since, but sometimes, after Amy had snuck one, he made sure to kiss her, for just a taste of that secret sense memory.

  
In the study, Kevin placed a hand on Raymond's shoulder. "You may speak now."  
  
Raymond let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding in. "And that was…satisfactory for you?"  
  
"I appreciate your cooperation a great deal," Kevin told him. "The extent to which you were willing to cede control, and potentially embarrass yourself, is proof enough of your loyalty to me. I am more than satisfied with it. The indecent houseguest was just the icing on the cake."  
  
Jake wandered out of the bathroom, clothes pretty much in place. "Noice! I'm icing!"  
  
Kevin sighed. "Go _home_ , Peralta."

Raymond watched the front door click shut behind Jake. He eyed Kevin's belt. "Shall I?"  
  
"Raymond," Kevin said, a teasing smile returning, "you know I was bluffing. But I appreciate the thought."  
  
Kevin looked in the direction of the staircase. "Either way, we ought to retire to the bedroom. I suspect Peralta of having at least the temptation to peer back in through the window. It so happens I am consumed with lust, and would prefer you to be the sole recipient."


	4. Holt

When Holt first told Kevin what had transpired between himself and Peralta in Florida, Kevin went silent. He left the house in a white-hot wordless rage, and returned several hours later.

"You may sleep on the couch in the study tonight," Kevin said. "I'm still thinking."  
  
Laying on the couch that night, hands folded over his stomach, Raymond thought through his options. He could not use any typical defense, claim it meant nothing, because that was a lie, and Kevin would see through it immediately. But there was nothing in the world that would be worth losing Kevin over. Surely he could build a sufficiently convincing argument for that.  
  
He didn't have to. Holt received a text that afternoon at work. _Talk tonight. I have a proposal._  
  
"Let me have a crack at him," Kevin told him, looking as terribly handsome as ever.  
  
Holt folded his arms. "I will not allow you to hurt him.”  
  
Kevin's entire face was a withering sigh. "I'm not going to _hurt_ him."  
  
Holt raised both eyebrows.

"I will find a mode of sexual humiliation he enjoys and speak to him about it myself," Kevin said. "What is important is that you allow me to do so."  
  
"I see," Raymond said. He did not quite see.  
  
"I understand these were extenuating circumstances," Kevin continued. "However I feel a line has been crossed. I don't sleep with my graduate students, Raymond, and I find this situation equivalent."  
  
"You had a former student here on the day he graduated," Holt countered.

"I did," Kevin said, the faintest of smiles playing on his lips. "And, if I recall correctly, you enjoyed his company as well."

Raymond remembered -- they both remembered, well -- a charming, impossibly bright younger man who would trip over his words in his excitement. That when Kevin brought him home, his eyes had lit up upon seeing Raymond too. He had insisted that Raymond watch, as Kevin was stern in the bedroom and sweetly playful afterwards. Raymond recalled that for weeks afterward, Kevin had seemed like a younger version of himself, one who laughed more often.

"What ever became of Gustavo?" Raymond wondered aloud.  
  
"He returned to Brazil," Kevin said, the disappointment evident in his voice. "He still travels frequently, and we thought he might have been in Germany while I was in Paris, but. No such luck."  
  
Raymond wondered, silently, if Kevin had been, as the kids say, _ghosted_ , and immediately resented anyone who could possibly treat Kevin that way.  
  
"What happened there, Raymond, is that when I found someone dear to me, I knew how to share."  
  
Holt considered this. "And this… sharing would help re-establish trust in our relationship?"  
  
"Precisely, Captain."

And Holt did have to trust him, quite a bit, to let Kevin do what he did with Peralta. Especially the silence. He had to make an effort to trust Kevin, in those moments, that Kevin would not step outside the established boundaries of their relationship. And that he would not hurt Peralta. And that he would not embarrass him. But he had trusted Kevin, and it had been more than worth it.

"I do love watching you work," Raymond told him, in their bedroom, afterwards. It was an understatement.  
  
"I know," Kevin said.  
  
Raymond removed his shirt and folded it carefully before gently placing it in the laundry hamper. "You are going to debrief him?"  
  
"I will leave him a message," Kevin said, taking off his pants and folding them the same way. "He's been _de-briefed_ enough times already."  
  
Raymond chuckled, and Kevin chuckled with him. "That's a pun about underwear," Raymond said, appreciatively.

"He does have a perfect ass," Kevin mused, knowing it would never leave the bedroom. "Truly, it is wasted on the rest of him."  
  
"You _are_ cruel."  
  
"I am. I'm quite wicked," Kevin said, a flirtatious sparkle in his eye. "And you, dear Raymond," Kevin said, putting his arms around him, guiding him to a familiar position on their shared bed, "are a good man."  
  
Raymond lay back and relaxed, eyelids lazy, as Kevin's fingers moved in circles on his bare chest. "You don't say."  
  
"A paragon of justice," Kevin continued, kissing Raymond's temple, then his shoulder. "A standalone in your field." 

"One might think," Raymond said slowly, "that you did all this because you wanted me to want you."  
  
Kevin smirked. "Perhaps."  
  
Raymond took Kevin's hand and kissed it. "You know I could never stop."

Kevin looked down and noticed Raymond's relaxed posture, the angle of his legs, the way he seemed to guide Kevin to position himself over them. Kevin smiled the particular smug little smile Kevin had when he heard an amusing secret. "Raymond? Would you like me to top?"  
  
"I would like you to make controlled yet passionate love to me, yes."  
  
"My pleasure, Captain."


	5. Squad

"Jake, you are glowing," Boyle said at work the next day. He pointed at Jake and Amy. "Did you two hop a new train to bone-town?"   
  
"Charles --" Amy started, exasperated.   
  
"Hey, you know what, it's fine that he thinks that," Jake said. "Charles, it just makes Amy a little uncomfortable that you're on about our sex life all the time."   
  
"Oh, I get it," Charles said. "Chivalry! Is that the new kink?"   
  
Jake looked away from Charles. His eyes met Gina's, whose eyeroll clearly said,  _ bitch, I know exactly what you did, but you are out of your entire mind if you think that I care. _   
  
Wow, Jake thought. Okay.    
  
He looked at Rosa, whose shrug said,  _ yeah, you're welcome. _ __  
__  
Holt's was in his office, out of sight, which was probably for the best. He'd noticed the Captain come in with a bit of swagger in his step, which was a good sign. Kevin had left Jake a voicemail thanking him for his services, which he very much appreciated, and instructing him never to call back. Jake would keep the message forever, probably.   
  
"There's no new kink," Jake said to Charles. Jake heard Gina scoff, and ignored it. 

Jake heard Holt sneeze in his office. Jake's dick twitched immediately at the sound.    
  
Oh well, Jake thought. Guess he was stuck with at least one new kink.   


"As I was saying," Jake continued, "I'm just happy to be back, and I'm feeling really cute today."  
  
"You are really cute today," Amy and Charles said, in unison. Charles and Amy looked at each other --  _ is this weird?  _ \-- but Jake was still beaming.   
  
"Thanks, babe," he said, pointing finger-guns at both Amy and Charles. Charles clutched his chest, looking as though he were about to faint. "You too."

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by [this Kevin/Jake story](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5732398) by FifteenDozenTimes, and [this Holt/Jake in Florida story](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8135531) by d2fmeasurement.


End file.
